You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
