I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
