I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
