I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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