Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
