the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
