When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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