what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
