Porn is love you can see.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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