Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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