god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
