Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
