somebody snuck up and got me drunk
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
