I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He passed out mid-signature
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We are two peas in an std pod
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
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