All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
