How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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