it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
