btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
