I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
