I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
