3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
