We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
