she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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