its not stalking. its research.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
