he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
