Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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