So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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