well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
