I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
