Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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