he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
