Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I want her autograph on my taint
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
