Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
