You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
