We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
