I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
