I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
