everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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