YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
