She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
