$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
