it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
