I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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