Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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