Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
