Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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