Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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