How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
