i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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