so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
