There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I want to have your abortion
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
