??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
