Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
