Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
