super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
